Perception :
Perception refers to a few processes that we use to make sense of all the stimuli we encounter every second, from the glow of the computer screen in front of us to the smell of the room to the itch on our ankle. Our perceptions are based on how we interpret all these different sensations, which are sensory impressions we get from the stimuli in the world around us.
In other words, Perception is the organization , identification and the interpretation of the stimuli in order to represent and understand the present situation, information or environment.
“Perception is what you think, see, feel, taste and hear – it’s all you”
For example, upon walking into a restaurant, you enjoy the ambiance, food and the service , so you perceive that it is a good place and hang out. You also give recommendations to your friends. Now that you like the place and have referred it to your friends, it does not mean that everyone feel the same. Hence it’s all you.
Understanding Your Perception
There are some questions you can ask yourself to better understand your perception, thoughts and feelings, in any given situation.
Ask yourself:
- is the magnitude of my emotion matching the reality of the situation?
- what are the facts of the situation?
- what does this situation remind me of?
- how have I felt in a situation similar to this one in the past? Is that why I’m feeling this way now?
- what emotions I am hyperaware of? and extra sensitive to?
- is how I feel a reaction to the past or the present?
What’s also helpful for me, is to put myself in the mindset of each person involved. What is their point of view? Also, don’t forget that communication is key. Almost all interpersonal issues can be solved by communicating clearly. Ask people or players in a situation, how they’re seeing things. We all internalize everything so often, we forget that most of our wondering can be eliminated by asking a simple question. For a more accurate picture, build your reality based on reason and perception, try to strike a balance.
Reality :
Reality is the way things actually are, not the way you might want them to be. Reality does not change to adapt to our viewpoints; reality is what it is: Reality is fact. Reality is truth.
The picture in front of your eyes. No imagination, no feelings, nothing. It’s just in front of us.
Perception vs. Reality :
We often confuse perception with reality without appreciating that our perception is the lens through which we view reality of ourselves and others. We must also be mindful not to confuse the lens with that which is being viewed through our perception. As people, we misunderstand and entertain our thoughts and feelings to believe that what we perceive is real to us, thus conclude that they must be true, therefore, how we look at a challenge may be of the challenge itself. We all believe that our perception is reality.
Our perception creates our thoughts which creates our reality. The reality on the other hand, is the true state of things – how things really are, whether we perceive them to be as such or not. It is important to note that it is we who supply the perceptions and build our beliefs with them. How our reality appears to us says a lot about our perceptions. What is pertinent is that we be mindful not to allow our perception to self-destruct.
Bridging the Gap Between Perception and Reality
The best way to bridge the gap between what you perceive and what things actually are, is by checking in with yourself to understand fully. Use a dialectical behavior skill called “check the facts”— which basically is a mental checklist of the viable facts of the situation. What is unequivocally true in the situation? Then, take a look at how your experiences are shaping your perspective of the situation. Just because something is your reality, doesn’t mean it is the reality.
For example:
Say you just made a new friend, and had plans set which they cancelled on last minute.
If your past experiences include feeling left out or not important, if you have abandonment issues, or had friends who turned on you in the past, you may automatically jump to conclusions that this new friend has no interest in being your friend and cannot be trusted.
The reality of the situation, the fact, is that you don’t know why they cancelled. You don’t know this person very well, maybe something came up or maybe they just didn’t want to go out. The way you can remedy this is by examining the facts, finding out why you feel a certain way that it happened, what past experience this situation reminds you of; take a look into the way your past experiences are influencing you right now.
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