If I were to list all the things I don’t like about myself, you’d probably relate to me and my struggles. After all, we’re comfortable focusing on our shortcomings.
But if I were to list all the things I like about myself, you’d probably think I was prideful, egotistical, or narcissistic.
But life is a set of trial and error. We learn about ourselves after going through many scenarios and accepting ourselves as we are in no way wrong.
So when someone compliments you,
Accept it Appreciate it And dwell in its glow
But yes, learn to love yourself and compliment yourself first
Don’t wait for someone to give you the roses Cultivate them for yourself.
Have you ever lay on bed with depression, thinking “i am full of flaws”, “i hate myself”, or even “I am worthless”?
Self-love is never an easy job. When we did something below expectation, we may sometimes fall into the anxiousness of not being good enough, judging ourselves harshly instead of appreciating ourselves for what we did.
At every step of life, we learn something. Learning anything requires commitment and the ability to push through the uncomfortable feeling of not being very good until reaching competency. While on the path to competency, a little motivation can go a long way.
Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. ― Rumi
When we work to transform ourselves, we are better able to serve others and positively transform the world around us as well. We all deserve to live a full, fun, and flourishing life. The “Becoming Better Humans” courses and coaching aren’t something more to do… they are about a different way of BEing. Through research-based practices and strategies from the fields of Mindfulness, Positive Psychology, Emotional Intelligence, and Social Psychology, we will work together to strengthen your WELL-being and your WHOLE-being.
To become more human, it seems we must first recognise what is distinctive about being human. Basic biology is about the same in all higher animals and humans. So for distinctiveness, we must look to mental and behavioral functions. It seems that only two mental characteristics are distinctively human. These are commonly referred to as constructed imagined scenarios and deliberate practice.
Even the most positive people among us experience feeling down and discouraged at times due to personal circumstances or events in the world that affect us collectively. Judging from the news reports, the world has seemingly descended into chaos on more days than not.
It can all get to be pretty overwhelming, especially for those who tend to be sensitive to negativity. Here are ten ways to get through those days when you just want to pull the covers over your head and go back to sleep, but can’t:
1. Visualise a bubble of protection surrounding you. I know this sounds a little woo-woo, but give it a try if you like. Imagine your protective bubble enveloping your entire body completely before you leave the house. It can be any color you choose except white. Blue and violet are soothing colors, so these are good to start out with. You can also say a prayer for guidance and protection if that suits you. Remind yourself of your protective bubble (and prayer, if you added one) throughout the day and allow yourself to feel soothed as you visualise it working.
2. Imagine a person of calm. If the thought of a protective bubble just doesn’t do it for you, try bringing to mind someone whose presence calms and reassures you. It could be a loved one, friend, religious figure, celebrity you admire, etc. Imagine this person smiling and speaking words of encouragement to you as you prepare to begin your day. What would they say to you? Imagine them letting you know that they are with you as you go through your day, never more than a thought away if you need them.
3. Eat a nourishing breakfast. You’ll be better equipped to handle the challenges of the day if you start off with a healthy breakfast that helps sustain your energy level throughout the morning.
4. Ground yourself. Grounding yourself periodically can help when you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Be aware of your surroundings. What do you see? What do you hear? Find something pleasant to focus on, being mindful of anything new that you may not have noticed before.
5. Notice your breathing. Is it shallow or deep? Fast or slow? Be aware of your breath, and try to regulate your breathing by steadily inhaling through your nostrils for a count of seven, then exhaling through your mouth for a count of seven. Repeat the cycle for a few minutes until you feel calm and reenergized. Notice any feelings of tension you may be holding in your body and imagine the tension draining away.
6. Relish the good stuff. Collect encouraging sayings, songs, and stories that help connect with the good that exists all around us, even when the headlines shout otherwise.
7. Take a break from social media. Take a break from social media or rethink how you engage while using it. Let’s face it, some days the time spent on social media is little more than an exercise in futility. Instead of scrolling along and being pulled into the drama of the day, think about what you could do to encourage someone or bring humor to a situation in your own unique way.
8. Keep things in perspective. Ask yourself if what you’re experiencing today is likely to matter a year from now or talk things over with a trusted friend for another perspective.
9. Understand your feelings. Get to know your emotional reactions and acknowledge your feelings. Part of accepting ourselves is being able to see beyond labeling our emotions as positive or negative. We may not necessarily enjoy all of our emotional reactions but it is important to accept that everyone experiences a range of emotions.
10. Add something special to each day. Plan for something enjoyable to look forward to at the end of the day. If you need a quick pick-me-up during the day, remind yourself of the special plan you have in store for later. It doesn’t need to be anything elaborate and can even be something very simple. What matters is that it is something enjoyable that you can look forward to.
All you gotta do is believe in yourself no matter what – never lose faith. Tough situations only come to tough people.
And as Charlie Chaplin said : Nothing is permanent in this world not even our problems.
You are rainbow of wonderful, Yes you are, You beautiful human, ignore anyone who tries to tell you otherwise!!
I love Pride month, not only is it a celebration of love but it’s also a celebration of how diverse and wonderful humans are. I am grateful I live in a time where many people can be open and PROUD about who they are, who they identify has and who they love. However Pride also highlight some much more work we need to do for all people to be understanding and tolerant towards the life choices of others. At the core of everything, when we strip away culture class religion race and everything we are just a HUMAN BEING.
WE ARE ALL BORN HERE TO BE LOVED AND TO LOVE.
Not to judge and persecute others for being different than others.
I support the LGBTQ+ Community, I do not judge them for living their lives any different than me, in fact I am inspired and love them even more for it.
Drop 🏳️🌈 in the comments section to show your support.
Is beauty a flat stomach? Is beauty perfect skin with no wrinkles? Is beauty freshly painted finger nails? Or is beauty a body with perfect curves?
As a young teenage girl growing up in this generation, where they tell us one thing but change it the next, I want to know these answers.
For as long as I can remember we’ve been told “it’s what’s in the inside that matters,” but is it really?
What if there was a red head girl, with a skinny body and straight teeth, who wasn’t very smart. Then there was a curvy blond that had braces and glasses but was funny and clever. Which one would be considered beautiful?
Do you have beauty when you are intelligent or have perfect hair? Is it in the inside or outside?
Many people think that what you see on the surface is what you’ll find underneath. This assumption is what causes people to think less of themselves or to be narcissistic. What if you miss out on somebody amazing just because they aren’t engaging when you first look?
I no longer want to be judged by my appearance to others, even if I may be beautiful to them on the outside. Beauty’s not the first glance you sneak in the hallway. It’s the unknown that lies within.
Beauty is the way you look at something that interests you. How you get a spark in your eye when you’re reading a good book or going up to bat. The powerful feeling you get when you score a goal in soccer, or complete a math question that you insisted was unsolvable.
Beauty is the way you treat others and show them you care. How you don’t mind listening even if it bores you, because you know they would do the same for you.
Beauty is the way your voice softens when you talk to a little kid or baby. When you help a little kid with a math question and teach them the same way you were taught. How you hold a baby with shaking hands because you can’t believe that you used to be that tiny.
Beauty is your compassion. Being able to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes, even if you don’t like them.
Beauty is being able to stand up for something you believe in, even if you are the only one standing.
Beauty is integrity. Having the strength to be truthful to others and yourself.
Beauty is acuity. Knowing when it’s the right time to do something, and when it’s not. Putting together the fact that somebody might not be having a good day, and wants to be left alone.
Beauty is unconditional love. Caring for someone that has flaws because we all do. Loving them because they are imperfect, and that’s what makes them beautiful. You love them with all your heart for their personality and not their money or looks.
We shouldn’t be judged by how perfect our hair is parted, or how our eyes don’t have the right contrast with the shirt we are wearing. We aren’t the brand of jeans we are wearing. Not the length of hair we have. Beauty’s the unseen, that can’t be discovered unless you spend enough time to notice.
Our lives are way too short to be discussing what a person is wearing and how ugly they may be. You can’t make that postulation unless you’ve walked in their shoes before and looked deeper than just the surface.
We live our life calling other people unattractive and chunky, thinking they are ugly, but that only makes us uglier. We don’t know and we may never know if they are truly beautiful.
I don’t want to miss out on a true friend or soul mate because I won’t look deeper than their outer façade. I want to be the one that is willingly able to see their true beauty. I want to tell them they are funny when they need a boost. Or give them a hug and remind them just how magnificent they are. We live in a society that has made its own definition of beauty, that consists of looks and constantly compared to people that are perfect from the outside. That isn’t fair and we shouldn’t all be sorted under the same description because we are all exclusively special.
We all were born with different types of beauty. Some of us have a better way of showing theirs than others but that’s what makes us all unique. I love who I am and I love knowing other people do too. I don’t want to be judged by my looks anymore, though. I’d rather be called ugly because somebody doesn’t like my personality instead of just the way I look. Beauty runs deeper than the skin, deeper than a flat stomach, deeper than freshly painted finger nails, and deeper than perfect curves. We can’t see beauty and we never will, at least not the true kind.
Self-respect forms the foundation of all the decisions you’ll ever make, how you treat yourself, and how you allow others to treat you. But is self-respect crucial for happiness?
You may think the key to happiness lies in health, wealth, and the success of your personal relationships. And all these things are key elements on the path to greater fulfillment.
But what many fail to recognize is that self-respect is crucial for happiness.
Self-respect means having Confidence in yourself and behaving with grace, honor, and dignity.
How Do You Show Self Respect?
1. Respect your beliefs and values.
Determine which of your beliefs and values reflect your authentic self. Stick to them. It’s yours, and you don’t need to change them for anyone. Under no circumstances should you change your values to suit someone else, as then you will let yourself down.
2. Respect your body.
It’s the only one you have. Take care of it and pamper yourself often. Live healthily and make exercise a lifestyle priority.
3. Respect your environment.
If you can’t take care of your home or car, you can’t take care of yourself. Clean up, de-clutter and surround yourself with beautiful things that are a reflection of your beauty and character.
4. Respect your interests.
Stop hiding your hobbies. Openly share your passions. There are plenty of people who will be interested in the real you.
5. Respect your word.
The most powerful tool to have is your word. So stay honest, form opinions, openly communicate how you really feel. You owe it to yourself to speak up.
6. Respect your boundaries.
People will value you less when they realize you’re spineless and easily manipulated. Understand your limits and learn to say no.
7. Respect your fears.
If you try to escape or run from your fears, they will gain power over you. Face your fears head on, and push through it.
8. Respect your failures.
They are an incredible feedback system. Stop seeing the negatives, turn them to your advantage, find legitimate value in them, and learn from them.
9. Respect your time.
Manage your time efficiently. Ask yourself what’s really important and balance your priorities.
10. Respect elderly advice.
Maya Angelou perfectly said: “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” Find quotes from the elders to strengthen your character and thinking.
11. Respect your weaknesses.
Always see them as opportunities for growth and character-building.
12. Respect your goals and dreams.
Make a list of goals and start with the easiest one. Accomplish it, feel great that you did something for yourself. You’ll start to become confident in your abilities while simultaneously achieving what you want.
13. Respect your feelings.
Don’t stay in a job that makes you miserable. Don’t stay in a relationship that makes you sad. Don’t do something if it doesn’t feel right.
14. Respect your opportunities.
Say yes more often, it will give many new adventures and experiences and expand your comfort zone needed for growth.
15. Respect your needs first.
Find what will make you happy and don’t try to meet someone else’s needs before you took care of your own.
16. Respect and accept the retaliation.
The people who retaliate to your changes are always the people who were manipulating and using you in the first place, causing your low self-esteem and self-doubt. Shut them out of your life.
17. Respect your actions.
Action is the most powerful force for positive change. Even if it is not the right action, it still releases energy. Combine action with a positive attitude, regardless of your thoughts and feelings, as your actions and attitude will eventually impact your self-esteem.
18. Respect your accountability and responsibility.
Accountability and responsibility have been proven to accelerate action and success. Stand tall, and mighty forces will come to your aid.
19. Respect your thoughts.
Let your thoughts come and go, accept them, and then teach yourself to think positively through stillness or meditation. Change the way you think, talk, and behave toward yourself.
20. Respect the company of respectful people.
You are a combination of the people you spend the most time with. Respect yourself enough to make sure those people are positive influences. Actively seek out people who treat you the best way possible.
21. Respect your new confidence.
Do things that you’re good at. Accept compliments. The more you do things that build up your confidence, the more confident you’ll feel.
22. Respect honesty.
Honesty is the ultimate sign of respect. When you’re honest with yourself, you’ll see what’s good for you and what’s not.
23. Respect acceptance.
To respect something is to accept it. To respect yourself is to accept yourself. So it’s only until you truly love and respect yourself, accepting who and what you are, that you can start to believe you are worthy of another person’s love and respect.
When you lack self-respect and self-love
Before we explore why self-respect is crucial for happiness, we must first learn to recognize the red flags of low self-esteem.
1. You’re the doormat.
If you’re always the one that people ask things for without giving back anything in return, then you might need to build up your self-love. Same is true if you let people walk all over you, giving in to their wishes even though you hate it.
2. You lose yourself in a relationship.
You start a relationship and then, in the process, completely forget who and what you are. Decisions are made without your approval or notice, and you just plod along. Your forget your values and find yourself doing things you wouldn’t normally do, and which is totally against your true nature.
3. You are attention seeking.
You’re dying for validation which your low self-esteem cannot provide. Instead, you follow an image or symbol in order to gain attention and sometimes do stupid and erratic things, like making a fool of yourself at a party or the office.
4. You overindulge in bad habits.
You’re drinking, drugging, overeating, self-harming, punishing yourself, and your body. Food and drugs become ways to indulge and to forget.
5. You care for people who don’t care for you.
You’ll move mountains for someone who doesn’t even take notice of you. You keep making excuses for those who wouldn’t think twice to throw you under the bus.
6. You tolerate verbal, mental, or physical abuse.
You tolerate abusive partners and nasty people because you remember that one time they really treated you nicely, and you hang on to that feeling of belonging.
7. You are a puppet.
You meekly go along because you genuinely believe you have nothing of value to add to a conversation, relationship, or meeting because you think your opinions offer no value.
8. You became untidy and sloppy.
Your surroundings are in a mess. Your room is scattered with clothing and the sink in the kitchen is constantly full of dishes. You don’t’ care about cleaning up and just want to sleep all day.
Why Self-Respect Is Crucial For Happiness ?
So, we know how to recognize the red flags of low self esteem. But why is self-respect crucial for happiness?
1. Self-respect exhibits toughness and moral nerve.
You will display strong character with the willingness to accept responsibility for your own life, and you’ll fight for your Values and Believes, no matter what. This will make everyone else take note and admire your courage.
2. Self-respect makes you a better person and partner.
If you respect yourself, you believe you’re a worthy individual. And when you feel worthy, you believe you are deserving of love and respect. And when you command respect from others around you, they’d start to appreciate you more and take you more seriously.
3. No more need for comparisons.
When you love yourself, you feel good, you value your attributes, your talents, your skills, and your abilities. Which means that you never compare yourself to others, and you don’t feel jealous when others shine in their own way.
So, in the end, it boils down to this: accept yourself, respect your efforts, and you will, in the end, respect yourself.
What we do see depends mainly on what we look for…
One door is never closed that another is not opened up for us to live something better, the good in it all. Think back to some of the things you have encountered or situations that have presented themselves. Learning about perspective in life is key to being able to continue to grow and provide yourself with new challenges. Your thinking is established and set from everything that you have ever learned and will only change as needed when you decide to challenge your deepest ideals and beliefs.
Look at how you observe and decipher your situations. Are they good learning opportunities, or are they the worst thing that has ever happened to you? Can you look back and see where you thought something was horrendous, but now you can see how it all worked out for the greater good or for the better? There is beauty all around if you are willing to just look and see, and there are always blessings hidden in what we do, as long as our motives are righteous. So much of how you approach life depends on your attitude. If you are looking for the good in people, then that’s likely what you’ll find. If you approach things negatively, then that’s how you’ll see them. Do you look at the glass as being half-empty or half-full?
Remember to embrace the things and people around that will always help to keep you when life seems to be it’s hardest. Most of all, keep looking for new things to see, always because there is always something good that comes out of every learning opportunity. If you know you have been looking at the glass half empty, and you know you are not where you really want to be ~ Take your first step in always looking for the GOOD in every situation.
Today is international women’s day and even if the day is not about “women” but more about equal rights for women, I am keen to seize this opportunity to thank you all of them for influencing my path over the last years.
The pillars of my life:
First and obvious, there is my mother. An incredible woman who has inspired me to be free, believe everything is possible and has helped me shape who I am today. I was a stubborn little girl with high aspirations and she took the time to develop my talents whilst giving me some life lessons. I could go on and on on how amazing my mum is — creative, caring, solution-finder, explorer, brave, elegant, passionate, learner, anglophile, generous and so much more — but I’ll stop there to make room for the other amazing women of my life.
The second amazing woman is my Grandmother. She is a combination of warmth, kindness laughter and love. From the minute I wake up to the minute I fall asleep she makes sure I have everything in hand. She does it all. She has tremendous faith in me and has just that special touch.
The next amazing woman in my life is my Eldest Sister. I admire her for managing having children as well as a wonderful career, for her amazing skill of bringing peace to any difficult situation or conflict and for her constant commitment in helping others in lots of different ways.
Now this elder sister of mine, who she is the best. She is a true inspiration for me as she is going through the path of life just “before me” and share all her great tips with me which makes life much easier. She will be the one to tell me “let’s order in, Netflix and Chill”. By making every moment fun, we use our unbelievable energy to shake the world and truly seize evey single day. My favourite one!
Here is a woman who demonstrates what an amazing blogger, model she is, teaching me the importance of resilience, hard work and recognition, developing my self-awareness by giving me numerous opportunities, coaching me, supporting me in tough times and believing in my abilities. – My Best Friend.
Finally, to the future woman of my life. My youngest sister, to whom I commit to do my best to support her through life for her to feel that she has a choice in becoming whoever she wants to be, with the ultimate goal of being herself and being happy.
There are of course more women who supported me along the way and I know there will be many more.
Obviously, there are also many men who helped me becoming who I am today and to whom I am deeply grateful for. But that will be for another day…
Even though I chose women’s day to thank all women who made a great impact on my life, for some of them I will be thankful throughout my life. I feel there is something to learn from every woman in fact from every human being.
Lao Tzu’s philosophy advocates naturalness, spontaneity and freedom from social conventions and desires.
Each day we are faced with situations in life that require us to make choices. Some of these choices are easy, and at times, some of them can be difficult. Easy decisions consist of things like what clothing you should wear; most people choose what to wear based on the season of the year, the weather of the day, and where they might be going. Other easy decisions consist of things like what to eat, what movie to see, and what television programs to watch.
Decisions that seem to be the most difficult are those that require a deeper level of thought.
When decision making, there are many steps that can be taken; but when making good decisions there are really only five steps that need to be considered. These steps are as follows: 1) Identify your goal. 2) Gather information for weighing your options. 3) Consider your consequences. 4) Make your decision. 5) Evaluate your decision.
When there are more steps than we can count on one hand, most people tend to either forget a step, or misconstrue the order in which the steps must be taken. If you follow these five steps, and also remember the common pitfalls previously addressed, you will be well on your way to making good decisions for yourself.
If you have a few thoughts on some similar topics, I would love to hear. You can mention it below on my post or also tag me on your Instagram and Facebook posts.
Right. Okay. Before we begin. Let’s start with everything ever. Like the whole entire universe. The cosmos and all it comes with. In fact, no. Wait. Let’s encompass the whole damn multiverse, even. Just to be sure.
The big, large, gargantuan collection of all things that have ever been. So there we have it: the exact opposite of a Little Thing.
Except, actually, it’s not. What you have here just so happens to be every Little Thing, all crammed together. Small fragments, tiny pieces, all stitched into the entire fabric of the universe.
A lot of people out there — hell, all of us at some point — have been so focused on the bigger picture, so intent on reaching some kind of destination that it takes over us completely. A goal. A dream.
Something that we have been aiming for ever since our hearts were handed our first bow and arrow and told to choose a target. Which is great. It’s brilliant to want something so wholeheartedly that it makes the air taste a little sweeter because suddenly, it’s infused with hope. With determination and giddiness. It becomes your life’s mission.
And yet, everything big is a collection of all things little.
Which is why we need to grab the Sky remote that has been wedged down the side of the sofa, and press pause for a moment. Allow ourselves time to notice them. To appreciate them. To live them and love them and become them.
Being aware of the little pockets of happiness that are dotted all throughout your day. Like savoring the taste of your favorite hot-chocolate. And having your dog snuggle up against you.
Because happiness itself is not just one big, overwhelming thing. It’s bits and bobs of the things you love, the people you love, your favorite foods and books and cities. It’s the new season of your favorite show starting.
It’s grabbing a bite on the way home from a long day. It’s your hair falling in waves across your shoulders after plaiting it overnight and it’s your old school friend being in town for the weekend.
It’s the little wins, like rewarding yourself for finally managing to fit in that morning run. Woohoo! Sounds horrendous to me, but well done you!
Give yourself as many of those little victories as you can. The little moments that evoke the large emotions, that leave the lasting and large marks on the universe. If you let yourself live in the moment — which is actually all we have anyway — then you’ll see.
If you’re mindful, you will see that the Little Things are everywhere. You’ll see them in things that once appeared daunting. Things that seemed too much, too sudden, too overwhelming, like big tasks that whir around in your head, too fast for you to get a hold of. But everything big can be divided into it’s littles. If you think about it, the Little Things are, in fact, every thing, really. You just need to let yourself see them. Embrace them. And live everything little thing that you can. In the end, in the grand scheme of the grand universe, our lives are only little things themselves. Teeny, tiny and tremendous. But just because they’re small, just because they’re a story wedged into a corner of a phenomenally-large library, surrounded by infinite others, that doesn’t mean they’re not important.
In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Our lives are the ultimate Little Thing. Delicate. Brilliant. Abundant. And part of a weird and wonderful whole.
After all. You can’t make the universe, without “U”.
Hotch_Potchh 